Moving in and The Need to Let Go

Son unit is now back in college, now 2 weekends ago.  As we still do not have an extra vehicle to spare it was yet another road trip for the family thought at first his mother said she wasn’t going to go along as a ‘punishment’ for son unit siting on his butt for most of the summer.  But she did.

On unit is now in a bigger dorm, one which separates rooms for sleeping, a large common area and a pretty decent kitchen.  So, there was first loading up the rental vehicle with the stuff- not all of it=- carried home from last semester and additional stuff for the new quarters


Then the long, ten-hour trip to Ada, Ohio.  Had thought about making son unit drive a bit, but even though he’s 21, I just don’t trust him well enough to let him drive, especially when the vehicle in question is a rental.  The drive is a monotonous one for the most part, as drives on interstates are, but once off the McRoads (interstates) you get a feel for the surrounding countryside.



Checked into the dorm and indeed it was as son said it would be; quite nice.  I’d say the total area would hold 2 and a half or so Japanese -sized LDK apartments.


Son has decided he will not eat at the school cafeteria and is off the meal plan.  Had a couple of talks with him about this, stating that after a while, cooking can become a chore and when its time for exams and papers to be written, h may very well not have the time/inclination to cook for himself and thus should have options, but…. So there was foraging at a Japanese supermarket in Columbus, Ohio and a Wal-Mart near the school for provisions.


Once that was done and his stuff generally moved in, there as the task of getting it all sorted out, put away and getting his room the way he wanted it.

Now I stayed out of this partly as its his dorm, not mine and throughout the day there was constant bickering  between he and his mother over how the joint cupboard space in the kitchen should be used (son moved in a day earlier than roomie) , how he should store his food (like dividing a pound of ground beef into 4 smaller units before putting it into the freezer, strong disapproval over how his room is set up, and last and for mother unit, getting very upset over his refusal and my agreement over not buying a small pant for the kitchen.

Now I do ‘get’ this, especially the plant.  She wanted that to help brighten up the kitchen and as a silent reminder to him of her and that she thinks about him.  BUT he said he didn’t want it and told his mother that she needs to respect his wishes.  In doing so we may be letting him not make the best of all choices but at 21 its time for him to Make his choices, for better or for worst.  If not now, then just when would she allow him to make his own choices?  When he’s 35? 40? (assuming we are round that long) and what sort of person would that make him?  Certainly not one attractive to any woman worth dating and eventually marrying.

What did I get for voicing my opinion (siding with son?)  A 10-hour ride of near silence on the way back.

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2 Responses to Moving in and The Need to Let Go

  1. Your son’s dorm looks very nice indeed. Hope his mother comes to realize that this is not so much about his rejecting of her but instead his spreading his wings.

    Talk about being a rock and a hard place…

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