How Low Can You Go: As a Parent?

There's a lot that goes on in the evening here that I have to catch up on the next morning.  I am up usually around 05:30 am, meaning barring something extraordinarily interesting, the eyes start to droop around 9:30 pm and I am fast asleep soon after.

Today is no exception, though wife comes down about 45 minutes later as she has to be at work at 7 am today.  Turns out that late last night she did a load of clothing- which could have waited- and she left son's cell phone in one of her pants pockets and the phone of course is kaput.

Said nothing outwardly and busied myself cleaning up for the whatever time, the pots and pans and other stuff she and son leave in the sink to greet me every morning, but inside I was furious. Sure we all make mistakes; I dropped my first Crackberry in my cousin's pool ruining it of course and I have also left paper in pants pockets and then washed them with a mess later inside and out of the washer, but I have learned from these too.  Not wife.  She has,

  • Burned many good saucepans and frying pans to the point of ruination by leaving the on the stove with the heat still on, and then walking away,
  • Ruined a perfectly good vacuum cleaner cleaning up the ash from our fireplace,
  • Also ruined our cam recorder by trying to force a cassette out- the cassette is now stuck, can't be taken out and the only way to fix it is to have it sent to Japan  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  • Forced a CD into one of our cars audio system, before the system was ready to take it; can't figure how to get the CD out without some serious disassembly work.  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  • Decided to 'investigate' some water from the clothes washer by ripping up floor tiles; now the entire kitchen, pantry area flooring has to be redone $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
  • Ruined son's first IPod by also not checking the clothing thoroughly before washing,

And I could go on and on.  Makes me wonder how many children actually live in this house.

But what really disgusted me is what son told me later when he came down.  He said his mother blamed this latest on him as he had made her upset by staying up late at night hunched over his new laptop.  That is about as low and as cowardly as a parent can get as far as I am concerned to lay a guilt trip on their children for their own mistakes and inadequacies.

As far as son is concerned, he told me to leave it; he in his words, 'is used to her bitching'.

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5 Responses to How Low Can You Go: As a Parent?

  1. pamik says:

    I'd say the removal of valuable objects from clothing before it goes into the laundry is the responsibility of the person who owns that object. (I also can't imagine a scenario in which my girl would leaver her cell phone in my possession for more than a moment."

  2. An Ex-Expat says:

    Agreed. I did not explain that the phone was in her pants pocket as she had borrowed son's cell phone and did not return it when she was done.

    And yes, keeping scarce is not good. But when the same sort of thing repeats itself with no glimpse of a lesson learned………
    Thanks for reading the rant.

  3. Emjay says:

    Perhaps she thinks if she does things badly enough someone else (you) will do them. I used to iron my ex-husbands shirts really badly though it didn't start that way – I ironed how I iron and he would complain about it…. It annoyed me because it was something that I thought he could do himself – we were both working. I started ironing deliberately badly until he decided it was easier to do it himself LOL.I can't imagine my kids lending me their mobiles for longer than 2 minutes and they would hover beside me to make sure they got it back.

  4. pamik says:

    I'm totally of the "if you don't like the way I do it then do it yourself" school of chores. I also think who ever has the lower tolerance for certain types of messiness is the one who should deal with that messiness. My partner has way higher tolerance for dirty floors than I do so I do the floors. He's better at cleaning the kitchen though.

  5. An Ex-Expat says:

    As to son letting someone else use his mobile, I think he's learned a lesson.

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